sour cream and onion chips…
with some dip, man.
Some beef jerky.
Some peanut butter.
Get some Haagen Dazs
ice cream bars. A whole lot.
Make sure chocolate.
Gotta have chocolate, man.
Some popcorn. Bread. Popcorn.
Graham crackers with the marshmallows,
the little marshmallows.
And little chocolate bars.
We’ll make some smores, man.
Yeah, that’s what
l was sayin’, yo.
Also celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch
with the little crunch berries.
We need two big pizzas, man.
Everything on ’em.
With water, whole lot of water.
Thurgood: Yea. Um, So how long’s [your dad] been in [jail]?
Mary Jane: Four years next month.
Thurgood: Four years. And what exactly was he selling?
Mary Jane: Marijuana.
Thurgood: FOUR YEARS JUST FOR WEED?! DAMN!
Mary Jane: Just? No, no, no, no. Not just. Marijuana is terrible. It’s a gateway drug. I mean, everybody knows that it leads to other stuff.
Thurgood: Yeah, mostly junk food.
Samson: Delilah, get me “eight fourteen”.
Delilah: [to another woman] Eight fourteen.
Thurgood: [whispers to Scarface and Brian] What the fucks “eight fourteen”?
[she pulls out a crossbow]
Thurgood: AH! I’m sorry y’all, I don’t want to be the first nigger to die from a crossbow.
Scientist: Janitor? Uh, janitor?
[taps Thurgood, who gets frightened]
Thurgood: Ah! Oh..sorry ’bout that. What is it, scientist?
Scientist: I know this isn’t your responsibility but, uh, could you be a dear and run this down to the supply department for me? It’s on the second floor. [hands Thurgood a note]
Thurgood: Just run this down?
Scientist: Yes, but make sure you bring the order right back to me. I need it A.S.A.P.
Thurgood: Gotcha. Hey, I know this isn’t your responsibility but just wipe the rest of this shit up [hands him a mop] I’ll be right back.
Brian: You smoke?
Mary Jane: No my grandmother died from lung cancer.
Brian: That’s all the more reason to toke up man! It’ll ease the pain!
Brian: Lady, you want seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record? I’ll give you five.
Woman: Uh-uh. He autographed it himself…
Brian: Okay, I’ll give you four.
Brian: I’ll pretend I’m jamaican man! Yeah!
Thurgood: You have smoked yourself retarded!
Sir-Smokes-Alot: I’m impotent, man! Get away from me, bitch!
Nasty Nate: So the next time I come for you, I’m gonna want some cocktail…FRUIT!